Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
