no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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