i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
