we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
