Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
