I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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