So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
