He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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