If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
