Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
