Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize