a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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