We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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