hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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