Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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