she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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