So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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