i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
