Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
id be glad to
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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