you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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