Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
