it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
