if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Someone signed my nipple.
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