I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
