playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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