tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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