I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
