she was so not down for the gang bang
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
