i will never coherently bang her
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
