This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
