Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
