I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
