Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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