So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
