I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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