I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
