Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
