the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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