I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We're too hungover to prance.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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