YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
