: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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