Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
