yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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