He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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