no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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