Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
