Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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