I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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