I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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