I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
