There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
