im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
