he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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