i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
