i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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