lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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