he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
COCAINE IS GR8
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
