I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
