Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
