What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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