i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
