I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
